New Digs

I've finally, finally, moved into my new home. It's strange - I fully expected a few days of driving to the wrong house, struggling to find ingredients in the kitchen, and walking into the wall in the middle of the night on the way to the new bathroom. None of that has happened.

It almost seems like I belong here. Like this was supposed to happen. To overuse a popular phrase, it feels organic.

I've been sleeping in the baby's room because the Eastern cathedral windows in my bedroom let in the wee morning sun (did you know that its bright out at 4:30am?). I imagine my daughter sleeping there some day very soon, and even that seems normal. As though I already know her and expect her.

Since moving in, I've been taking active measures to create new, healthier habits in this new abode. Less tv. Less sugar. More reading. More flossing. And now I'm adding more yoga.

I'd like to take one more step: less self-doubt when it comes to dating. Less worrying about how that part of my life will work out. Less fretting about whether some dumb arse who looks 55 years old is turned off by the fact that I'm expecting a baby, that I'm not a supermodel, that I'm me. Enough.

And when I'm honest with myself, I already know the answer. The right guy will come along. He will find me, I don't need to go looking for him. He will love both me and my daughter and feel lucky to have finally found us. And it will feel as organic as it feels to wake up in this home and look out on the water.