Dicks Vs. Dictations

I have two vacancies: Boyfriend and Executive Secretary.

The first position has been vacant for almost a year now. Applications have been scant, interviews unimpressive, and skill sets lacking. The second position has been vacant for about 6 weeks. One applicant chewed gum through her interview, another looked like the 'before' picture in the before/after professional makeover, and I've fired two temps in the past 4 weeks.

Yesterday was a banner day in the search process for both positions. I spent 2 hours interviewing applicants, reviewing 4 new resumes, and checking references. And then I rushed home from work to spend a few hours with Lucy before putting her to bed, slapping on make up and a sexy shirt, and dashing to a speed dating event.

What's that, you say? Am I masochist?

I've never done speed dating before and had no idea what to expect. Half of the men - and half of the women - had ... let's just say, issues. The phrase that comes to mind is 'severe social awkwardness'. The other half were very nice ... just not a match in sight for me. (Favorite question of the night: "Do you mind if I ask why you waited so long to have a baby?" Thank you, 50-year old Revenge of the Nerds look alike).

As I sat at Table 11 interviewing each prospective applicant over and over and over again, I thought, "If I could choose a match today, would I pick a top boyfriend or a top secretary?". Certainly, it would be nice to have both. But at this point in time, I'd pick good dictation over good dick.