Please Don't Step Away from the Couch ....

I met with my therapist last week and told her I thought it might be time for us to break-up. I mean, let's face it --- I've survived a broken engagement, the decision to have a baby on my own, the trauma of realizing I needed to use a gestational carrier, and the first 10 months of raising a baby on my own. At this point, what else is there to talk about ????

I told my therapist last week that I'm sick of Dating. Sick of talking about dating, sick of looking for people to date, sick of analyzing why its difficult to find someone to date, and most certainly sick of the actual act of Dating. Enough already.

I told her that I wanted to transition my dating approach to the approach I used to find my new home. Namely, I never thought I'd live in my old home forever; but, I was certainly happy enough there and never gave finding a new home much thought. And then, in the midst of my parents pseudo-divorce when I was looking for a place for my mom, I literally stumbled across my current home when I was meeting my real estate agent at an open house. I walked in, looked around, and said, 'Wow'. Took two more steps and repeated the prophetic, 'Wow'. Looked out the window and repeated, "Wow'. My real estate agent said, "Maybe you should buy this place for yourself, and your mom can have your place." Ding, ding, ding! And right there the decision was made.

I explained to my therapist that this is my newest approach to the big D word. I'm happy where I am, but I'd never pass up a good deal if I stumbled upon it.

And so, just a few days later, those words still lingering over her therapy couch, I was trolling the dating sites and ... Wow. There is a profile that resonated with me (that makes 1 in approximately 25,000). And I find myself acting like a nutball. This is a short sampling of my thoughts:

He just joined this site, he is being swamped with e-mails from single women. I'm not writing to him.
He says he'd date women in my age range, but he really wants to date a 32 year old.
He is probably a jerk.
I've got a good gig with my baby, my home and my friends --- why screw this up?
I'll probably plunk $39 down for a month membership and he won't reply to my g.d. e-mail.
Shit, I think I could like this guy.

And so, it appears that I will not be breaking up with my therapist any time soon.