$40 Well-spent? or Down the Crapper?

So, Mr. Wonderful from jdate didn't write me back, although I could see that he did read my message (don't you just love technology?). Perhaps he is not ready to be back out in the dating world. Perhaps he just wasn't that into me. Or, perhaps he is rather dick-ish. Likely, my friends, the world shall never know.

And so I am left to ask the age old question philosophers have been pondering for centuries, "Were these 40 jdate bucks well spent, or more money down the kosher crapper?".

Like Plato, Socrates, Kant and others who have come before me, I'm left to muse over this deep philosophical issue. After deep thought and meditation, I have to say that the money was well spent. It is rare to find even a profile that peaks my interest. Better to have blown money for lunch, a movie and a giant pack of Twizzlers to see if Mr. Wonderful was really wonderful than to invest the money in a failing stock market and always wonder. Asked and answered.

Minutiae Dump

My life backpack is a little heavy these days, so I've decided to dump the minutiae. Although every piece of minutiae is miniscule by itself, it sure adds up.

Case in point: dating minutiae. I decided to join jdate for a month and e-mail the 'Wow' guy previously mentioned. Before I got around to joining, I noted that he pulled his match.com account and had taken his jdate account off of the searchable mode. This made me question whether he has decided he isn't really ready to date, or if his inbox was simply flooded with Jersey jdate chicks who were hot for a widower making more than $100k per year.

The dilemma - to e-mail or not to e-mail? if he is non-searchable, will he find it stalkeresque that I had saved his profile to Favorites and am just e-mailing him now? Should I e-mail him now, or wait a few days so he can potentially stumble across my profile himself? Would he prefer making the first contact, or find it flattering that I took the initiative? Are the pictures in my profile representative? Should I take a few more? Which should I lead with? What should my e-mail to him say? How should I sign it? At what time of day should I ......... ENOUGH. THE ANSWER IS: WHO THE FUCK CARES???????.

Honestly, people -- enough. It really just doesn't matter.

If he likes me, and I like him, it really doesn't matter. And it won't matter if I wear a black shirt or a gray shirt on the date. Jeans or khakis. Heels or flats. If its there, its there. If its not, its not. Done.

This is really very freeing; I wish I'd come to this truth about 10 years ago. It would have freed up enough room in my lifepack for a sleeping bag.

Please Don't Step Away from the Couch ....

I met with my therapist last week and told her I thought it might be time for us to break-up. I mean, let's face it --- I've survived a broken engagement, the decision to have a baby on my own, the trauma of realizing I needed to use a gestational carrier, and the first 10 months of raising a baby on my own. At this point, what else is there to talk about ????

I told my therapist last week that I'm sick of Dating. Sick of talking about dating, sick of looking for people to date, sick of analyzing why its difficult to find someone to date, and most certainly sick of the actual act of Dating. Enough already.

I told her that I wanted to transition my dating approach to the approach I used to find my new home. Namely, I never thought I'd live in my old home forever; but, I was certainly happy enough there and never gave finding a new home much thought. And then, in the midst of my parents pseudo-divorce when I was looking for a place for my mom, I literally stumbled across my current home when I was meeting my real estate agent at an open house. I walked in, looked around, and said, 'Wow'. Took two more steps and repeated the prophetic, 'Wow'. Looked out the window and repeated, "Wow'. My real estate agent said, "Maybe you should buy this place for yourself, and your mom can have your place." Ding, ding, ding! And right there the decision was made.

I explained to my therapist that this is my newest approach to the big D word. I'm happy where I am, but I'd never pass up a good deal if I stumbled upon it.

And so, just a few days later, those words still lingering over her therapy couch, I was trolling the dating sites and ... Wow. There is a profile that resonated with me (that makes 1 in approximately 25,000). And I find myself acting like a nutball. This is a short sampling of my thoughts:

He just joined this site, he is being swamped with e-mails from single women. I'm not writing to him.
He says he'd date women in my age range, but he really wants to date a 32 year old.
He is probably a jerk.
I've got a good gig with my baby, my home and my friends --- why screw this up?
I'll probably plunk $39 down for a month membership and he won't reply to my g.d. e-mail.
Shit, I think I could like this guy.

And so, it appears that I will not be breaking up with my therapist any time soon.