BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND TWITTER BACKGROUNDS

Friday, March 8, 2013

Wingman

The dimmer in the lights over my dining room table blew, so I hired an electrician to come to the house.   He rang the bell at the precise moment when I had just taken off my work clothes and was standing ass naked in my bedroom.  Yes, I really did answer the door in my bathrobe.

His name was Brian and he was about my age and had beautiful blue eyes. Despite my outfit, he didn't seem to think I was crazy (bonus points).

My 3-year old daughter followed me down the stairs and started in with her line of questioning.

"Are you Brian?"
"Yes."
"Where did you come from?"
"Outside."
"Why?"
"I came to fix your lights."
"Are they broken?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"I'm trying to figure that out."
"Do you have a penis?"

I heard myself choke.  I tried to dodge.

"Sweetie, do you want to play with your blocks?"
"Do you have a penis?"
"Sweetie, that is a private question."
"Does he have a penis?"

Okay, there is no dodging.

"Well, he is a boy, so most likely he does have a penis,"
Did I just say that? 
"but that is a private question and not something we say in public."
"Can I see it?"

I may have an aneurysm.  The electrician is holding back a smirk and examining my transformer.  Wait a minute - why does that sound dirty?  

"No, you may not see it. And we don't ask that."
I try to explain, "I'm sorry.  We just read a book about 'Who has what'."

He was gracious, explaining that he has two small daughters and has already heard everything.  But somehow I don't think he'd heard this one.  He also explained that he is a single father and takes his girls shopping for clothes and recently had to deal with the bra scene, which embarrassed him to death.

Hmm.  I'm meeting a nice, single father who has a good sense of humor and can fix my lights.  Is my daughter my wingman?  And if so, can we please postpone a viewing of the package?  

0 comments: